"Love on the transplant list"

Hey Blogland, 

Well I have just finished watching Kirstie Tancock’s documentary on BBC 3 “Love on the transplant list” and I found it so inspirational so this blog is going to be a bit of a contemplative blog. If you haven’t seen it you really need to it’s available on BBC iplayer it’s really amazing what she went through. She has Cystic Fibrosis which isn’t what I have but going on the list and all that stuff is something I can relate too.

Recently I have been down I’m always positive, I am, but it’s been over 6 months since I was put on the transplant list and I think there was this little piece of me that thought I wouldn’t  have a to wait that long. That I had been lucky enough to make it this far. I know people will be like what do you mean you’ve been lucky because from the outside it doesn’t seem that way, but Doctors always told me I would be lucky to make it to 5 then when I was diagnosed at 11 people with PH were still only living a few years so yeas I consider myself lucky. So carrying on I thought that maybe I’d been lucky enough to make it to 21 that maybe I’d get lucky and get a transplant soonish. I do realise that 6 months actually isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things but when you’re dying 6 months feels like a lifetime, I even know a few people who have been waiting a lot longer than me my friend Kath has been waiting 13 months now. It’s officially the crappest waiting game EVER!

Something I did take from the documentary is something Kirstie said at the end when she said she had forgotten how ill she actually was before her transplant. Its true people with terminal illnesses who don’t actually look ill, unless you have thee oxygen or tell tail signs of being ill, can forget I know I do. I’m so busy telling people I’m fine I forget that I’m actually not. When I go out with people who don’t actually realise how bad I am who I don’t regularly see. I try to keep up or I try to pretend like I can do exactly what they are doing and that’s when it hits me that I’m horribly ill. I can barely walk down the road anymore without needing a 5 minute rest or needing to sit down. The disabled parking although closer to where I need to be still seems like a mile walk away and by the time I get to where I need to be it actually would seem from the outside that I look like I’ve just run a  marathon.

I don’t think even my family realise how bad I actually am. (Obviously not my parents and sisters). They all know I’m on the transplant list but when they see me they still see what would appear to be a relatively well person and when they ask how I am I will always reply that I am fine. Because really who needs to hear “actually I feel like shit”. What do you say to that?

It’s given me a little more hope though because Kirstie was quite literally at deaths door and she still got her chance I just hope it doesn’t come too late.

If you haven’t seen the documentary go watch it on BBC iplayer here and go check out Kirstie’s Blog here it has everything from pre transplant and post transplant and all the amazing things she’s up to nowadays :-).  And if you aren't already please go sign up to be a donor here it saves lives and really ask yourself if you were in the situation people like me are in would you take an organ because if the answer is yes then there is absolutley no reason for you to not be a donor.


Halloween Part 1...

Heya Blogland,

Well here are a few pics from my sisters Halloween Party Last night. It was a awesome night and I really enjoyed myself even though I felt a tad sorry for the neighbours LOL.
Mine and megans beautifully decorated table LOL

Dementor spider

The Nephew as Buzz Lightyear

Candice dancing in the lights

Skeleton Warren and James as Robin

Lauren as a Killer Banana

Robin, Ninja Turtle and Batman

Pegs, Candy and Me and little Buzz Lightyear

Jo, Meg and Me

Back:- Dale, Jo, Megan, Me, Warren and Jaydon Front:- Steve, James and Eddy
My Awesome Halloween Cupcakes
My Awesome Halloween Cupcakes
I will probably be adding a few more soon :-)


Queen of procrastination

Heya Blogland


Well this morning I posted on my Facebook and Twitter that I would be taking a break from all things technology until my 2 essays are complete, which I am, but I figured I may as well try and write a bit every day whilst I’m trying to get them done. Also if I try and do one big post on a specific day I can never remember some of things I was thinking and feeling when I was thinking and feeling them and can never get it across properly.

So today has been dedicated to my Politics essay which has been interesting and boring at the same time. I really enjoy the Cold War stuff but some of the audio clips I have to listen to are so boring. Not the stuff they are talking about so much but the people who are talking. None of them are very interesting to listen to, they drone on. I feel like I learn more when I’m listening to someone who is passionate about what they talk about. These people don’t seem to have any sort of conviction in their voices which ultimately bores me. 

I really need to get this essay done I meant to do some work last week but with how busy I was I just did not have the energy at all. I just have to force myself out of bed in the mornings which is easier said than done at the moment. I feel okay within myself, when I say that what I mean is  I don’t feel worse, I’m not getting more chest pains and I’m not using my oxygen, I just feel very tired most of the time which is probably worse in a way because when I’m tired the only way to fix that is to sleep and I can’t get work done while I’m asleep, but if it were chest pains I could just go on my oxygen and I could get work done whilst trying to feel better. It’s a bit of a Catch 22 because being sleepy is probably the best I could ask for whereas if it were chest pains and feeling worse that would be bad. So I’ll take it :-).

Hopefully I will be back on the net soon enough but I really do need to focus on these essays because I’m determined to get a 2:1 overall.     


OMG I think my brain is going to explode!

I’m taking a break for 15 minutes I’m currently  reading a speech that a guy called Fukuyama made back in 2007 about how the cold war meant the end of political ideas, which is a little far fetched for me but I won’t drag you into my political ramblings LOL.

This week’s official blog is literally going to be my procrastination skills at work. My issue is that I can’t concentrate for too long so whenever I have a break I just write a little something so my brain can have a rest. I find politics very interesting but it’s pretty hard on the brain because you have to form your own opinions on a particular topic and I’m always a on the fence kind of gal but I actually have to come up with something :-/.

I’m at my older sisters tomorrow because my mum and I need to go and supervise her carpets being cleaned because she’s at work. I think she’s ‘nesting’ making sure everything is all good and clean for baby no name. As it’s due in only 66 days.

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I think last week is catching up with me as well, which sucks my chest is starting to hurt and breathing is becoming a tad laboured even when I’m talking which is a sure fire way to tell that I’m knackered a feeling a tad under the weather. Luckily my work only requires my brain but when I’m tired and chest painey (not a word I know lol) all I want to do is tuck myself in bed and sleep or watch TV. 

I got all my work done that I needed to today which is awesome and means I’m dead on track I’ve set tomorrow aside for work but if I’m feeling up to it I may well get the essay under way and then I can have it done earlier than Friday which would be awesome also because then maybe I can get my history essay done earlier too :-].

I’m off to bed for a long day tomorrow :-D


Well I woke up feeling awful this morning :-( woe is me lol. Actually it’s not too bad just massive stabbing pains in my chest. I had to go to my sisters with my mum though to look after my nephew whilst her carpet was being cleaned so I powered through and I am now in my bed on my oxygen which doesn’t seem to be doing anything at the moment but hopefully once I’m on it longer it will take affect.

Maybe it’s my body taking procrastination to another level, that sounds like my body :-P. Hopefully later I’ll be feeling better and can get some more work done. It’s fairly lucky that I set today aside in the whole grand scheme of my workload.

I also woke up this morning to 3 new followers which is really nice so welcome ladies I’m glad to share my journey with you :-). It’s always nice to know people are reading even though It’s mainly for me and self reflection but I like the idea that I could be spreading awareness for PH and organ donation.  


Omg blogland I woke up this morning to find my most recent clinic overview had made it through the post and if you read my clinic time blog post you will have read that I thought I had walked 120 metres when I actually only walked 96 metres. How beyond rubbish is that?! :-( I really thought I had done better than that. I suppose in January we’ll see if I’ve actually got worse when I do my bike test.
I’ve managed to get 1300 words of my essay done and it will be complete by tomorrow well it kind of has to be otherwise I’m screwed with regards to my history essay :-/ LOL. Tomorrow though I have to make a tonne of cupcakes for my sisters Halloween party on Saturday. I’ve decided to go as Little Red Riding Hood, yes I know not very Halloweeny but I don’t like to dress up and feel uncomfortable so I don’t care that it’s not a Halloween costume because I will feel comfortable :-). I’ll make sure to take photos for you.


Well my essay is finished and sent off, WHOOP! This pleases me immensely because it was a killer essay, but that also means I now have to do my history essay Booo!

I woke up again with horrific chest pains again I wish they would just go away, the oxygen doesn’t seem to be helping  much but hopefully it’ll go away soon :-)
Me and my mother both made Halloween cupcakes today for my sisters Halloween party and they actually turned out really awesome I’ll be sure to put up pictures on Sunday with my Halloween party pictures  :-) I am off to bed
See you Sunday Blogland


Liebster Blog Award

Liebster Blog Award
Well this morning I woke up to find I had been left a comment by one of my lovely followers Napoleana nominating me for a Liebster award. Now from what I can gather this 'award' is designed to show recognition to up and coming bloggers with under 200 followers. I have done a bit of research into it and from what I can gather it is more of a chain blog designed to get people more followers but seeing as it seems like just a bit of fun I thought "hey why not?" Also it gives you guys a chance to know me a little better :-).
The Rules:

1. Each person must post 11 random facts about themselves.
2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you've tagged to answer. (you will find your questions at the very end of the post)
3. Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
4. Go to their page and tell them.
5. Remember, no tag backs.
Here are the questions posed to me by Napoleana:

If you were an animal, which kind would you be and why? 

If I was an animal I would be a cat, more specifically one of my cats. They get to chill out all day eat food, have zero worries or responsibilities and they get all the love and attention in the world. Who wouldn't want that?

If you were Marty Mc Fly for real, would you travel back in time or into the future?

I would travel to the future, because your less likely to screw anything up or accidentally damage something in the present :-)
Do you have a clothing item in your closet that you bought, but never wore?

I do actually. If I'm telling the truth I have a few. I won't throw them away either because I keep telling myself that I will wear them but we all know I won't lol. 
Do you prefer cooking or baking?

If you read my blog regularly you'll know I like to bake because I rarely cook really unless it's simple, I find baking more theraputic :-).   

Open a book that lies closest to you on page 16. What is the first sentence on this page? (Don’t tell the title of the book, let us readers take a guess) :)

When doing this I had alot of books close to me so I had to choose one and I made sure it wasn't one of my history or politics uni books lol. "I was seventeen. My grandpa was a lawyer, and my dad is a lawyer; my dad met my mom when he came to work for my Grandpa" Now if you guess the book based off of that sentence/two sentences because the first was too small, then I will be impressed because I guarentee even if I read that sentence I wouldn't get the book and I've read it about 10 times. 

Your favorite drink?

I'm going to be really boring here because as some of you will know I can't drink alcoholic drinks, but my favourite would have to be either cloudy lemonade or apple Tango. I can just hear people laughing as they read this LOL. 

Congratulations! You are invited to the Oscars. What would you wear?

After my most recent experience in Harrods I would where one of their AMAZING dresses no idea who any of them were by but I'm sure if you went in there and said you were going to the oscars they would let you have one for free :-D
Do you have an unfulfilled dream?

I have many unfulfilled dreams but thats what happens when your on the list

Would you like to live in a foreign country?

Yes Definitely! Probably more somewhere in America but it would be cool to live in a place like Rome or something where I could learn a new language.  

If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be?

It's gonna be transplant related and I'm sorry, but it would have to be that we had a opt out scheme in the UK rather than an Opt in scheme. I can't tell you how many people I have spoken to who say to me the only reason they aren't signed up to be a donor is because they just can't be bothered or just forget  or just don't have the time. Where if we had a opt out scheme no-one would have to "find the time" or "have to remember" because it would already be done and if someone was really bothered about it then they would take the time to opt out.  

Are you superstitious?

I can be :-)

Right thats it guys, I would pass this along but most of the people I follow have over 200 followers  but I hope you enjoyed reading it and have learnt a little about me in the process. Now on with the Politics essay that I'm avoiding right now LOL I have the most amazing procrastination skills :-P



Heya Blogland,

Central House Hotel
Well I got back from my London trip a few hours ago and I had an amazing time!
Me and my friend Gina both went to London because I brought Gina “Wicked” tickets for her Birthday back in July, Gina had never seen it and it was something she really wanted to see so we both headed off to London yesterday morning planning on going to Harrods whilst we were there. 

Sort of what our bedroom looked like LOL 

We booked a hotel it was the cheapest we could find without it being a hostel £50.00 each. Although it was a 3 star hotel I have a feeling I have been spoiled in regards to hotels in the past because previously I never stayed in a hotel less than 4 stars but we didn’t need anything extravagant because we were only there for a night. I was however a little bemused by how small the bedroom was, I don’t have a large bedroom myself and this was smaller than my room :-S and it had TWO beds in. I wasn’t impressed by the bathroom in either if I stretched my arms out it was smaller than that. But it was cheap so I couldn’t expect anything wonderful LOL.  But if you need something for one night I would recommend it especially if you just need something cheap :-). 

Our ice-cream splurge

So once we had checked in we headed off to Harrods and I love it just as much as I ever have at Harrods. I always feel like I’m rich when I’m there even though it reminds me that I really am not LOL. Everything was so pretty I did buy a few things and I will show you them in a minute. We indulged in some ice-cream we both had a Hot Fudge Sundae and they really were amazingly yummy. One thing I was not chuffed about was the fact that a small coke was £4.25 and then there was a 10% service charge on top. That is ridiculous that’s FORCING you to give a tip Grrrrr! I give tips regularly but it makes me not want to do it especially with a service charge. 

Harrods at night
I was actually really sensible when I was going round because I did actually see the scarf I brought right at the beginning when we initially started looking around, but I said to Gina if I found nothing else I wanted I would buy it. So I waited until we had finished and I had only brought a few things to buy it, which was uber sensible. There was amazing dresses which I really wanted but very few had prices on them and if something doesn’t have the price on it, probably meant we couldn’t afford it LOL. We were in our element in the jewellery department. Some absolutely amazing jewellery and currently my aim in life is to get a Cartier watch or ring they were BEAUTIFUL! Gina absolutely fell in love with a Dior flower ring and the lad who was the sales guy in the Dior bit was lovely because me and Gina were just looking and then he was like “Do you want to try them on” and we were like “are you allowed to try them on if you can’t afford them?” and he was like “Sure it doesn’t cost anything to try them on” we were like OMG yes! Gina tried on a £8,000 ring that she adored and I tried on a larger one but it wasn’t as nice. So here’s a some of the stuff I brought I only brought 2 more things which was Part of gina’s Christmas present and the other was just a chocolate bar for my dad because he loves dark chocolate he kind of ate it before I could take a picture LOL. 

So firstly we have a simply Harrods shopping bag it was £20.00 which I know is a tad expensive but it’s not something that is going to wear and it should last a while. I could have got a more patterned one but they were like £40.00 and I can buy a bag that I would use everyday for that kind of money. But I really love it and I will probably be using it again when I go shopping. 
Next we have a Harrods key ring which if you read and saw my LEGOLAND post you will know I love a good key ring and if you have seen my keys you will also know this. I like to collect something little to remember the things I have done it was little expensive at £7.25 but I really like it.

Now we have two Christmas decorations. In my house we don’t have a particular theme to our tree and we just like to have a ‘bit and bob’ tree, it represents our family and it always looks lovely as it’s covered in stuff we have collected over the years, so this is my addition this year. They were around £4.00 each which I think is pretty good.

Toy Story Back pack

Here we have a Toy Story backpack which is actually for my little nephew, who is beyond obsessed with Toy Story, he does have a space man back pack but it’s a little large for him and thought this was little enough that he would be able to carry it and would want to because it had his Buzz and woody on it. This was £8.75 which I think was a bargain!  

Alexander McQueen scarf

 Right now this next item is the thing that is my favourite thing of the entire trip and a lot of people will think I’m mental for buying it but I have wanted an Alexander McQueen scarf for a while only I haven’t been able to afford one because I had saved some money to go to Harrods. Little did I know that they sold them there. Its the ‘aubergine and ruby silk skull scarf’ which means it is the cheaper one but I thought it felt better than the pashmina ones which is probably not what they want you feel LOL. I’m undecided on whether to tell you how much it cost because I know there will be some of you who will be like OMG your crazy so if you really want know you can check it out here. But please keep in mind that I have wanted this scarf for ages and it was not a spur of the moment purchase a lot of thought went into it and it is the loveliest scarf.
 After 5 hours in Harrods Gina and I made our way back to hotel and got ready to go to dinner and Wicked. We found the cutest ‘hole in the wall’ Italian which was authentic Italian food and so delicious. All the waiters were Italian and seemed to be genuinely happy to see you and serve you which I like. Gina ordered Calamari for a starter and I’m trying to eat different foods, and I have actually tried Calamari before but every time me and Gina have Dinner and she orders Calamari I will ask if I can try some. Now the past few times it’s been pretty chewy and I just haven’t enjoyed it very much but yesterdays was delicious! It was grilled, had the consistency of pasta and didn’t taste fishy or anything I really enjoyed it :-).

After dinner we made our way over the road to the show and it was just as good as It was the first time although I did keep getting distracted by the fact that the woman who plays Elphaba is obviously pregnant but it didn’t detract from the show which is the sign of a good actor.

If you have never seen it you really should it is amazing! I wouldn’t actually mind seeing it in movie form LOL .

Hope you enjoyed this guys and my next blog probably won’t be until after I have finished my 2 essays, which are due in next week, are done. So I hope you are all well and are having fun in your lives. Laters.