"Love on the transplant list"

Hey Blogland, 

Well I have just finished watching Kirstie Tancock’s documentary on BBC 3 “Love on the transplant list” and I found it so inspirational so this blog is going to be a bit of a contemplative blog. If you haven’t seen it you really need to it’s available on BBC iplayer it’s really amazing what she went through. She has Cystic Fibrosis which isn’t what I have but going on the list and all that stuff is something I can relate too.

Recently I have been down I’m always positive, I am, but it’s been over 6 months since I was put on the transplant list and I think there was this little piece of me that thought I wouldn’t  have a to wait that long. That I had been lucky enough to make it this far. I know people will be like what do you mean you’ve been lucky because from the outside it doesn’t seem that way, but Doctors always told me I would be lucky to make it to 5 then when I was diagnosed at 11 people with PH were still only living a few years so yeas I consider myself lucky. So carrying on I thought that maybe I’d been lucky enough to make it to 21 that maybe I’d get lucky and get a transplant soonish. I do realise that 6 months actually isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things but when you’re dying 6 months feels like a lifetime, I even know a few people who have been waiting a lot longer than me my friend Kath has been waiting 13 months now. It’s officially the crappest waiting game EVER!

Something I did take from the documentary is something Kirstie said at the end when she said she had forgotten how ill she actually was before her transplant. Its true people with terminal illnesses who don’t actually look ill, unless you have thee oxygen or tell tail signs of being ill, can forget I know I do. I’m so busy telling people I’m fine I forget that I’m actually not. When I go out with people who don’t actually realise how bad I am who I don’t regularly see. I try to keep up or I try to pretend like I can do exactly what they are doing and that’s when it hits me that I’m horribly ill. I can barely walk down the road anymore without needing a 5 minute rest or needing to sit down. The disabled parking although closer to where I need to be still seems like a mile walk away and by the time I get to where I need to be it actually would seem from the outside that I look like I’ve just run a  marathon.

I don’t think even my family realise how bad I actually am. (Obviously not my parents and sisters). They all know I’m on the transplant list but when they see me they still see what would appear to be a relatively well person and when they ask how I am I will always reply that I am fine. Because really who needs to hear “actually I feel like shit”. What do you say to that?

It’s given me a little more hope though because Kirstie was quite literally at deaths door and she still got her chance I just hope it doesn’t come too late.

If you haven’t seen the documentary go watch it on BBC iplayer here and go check out Kirstie’s Blog here it has everything from pre transplant and post transplant and all the amazing things she’s up to nowadays :-).  And if you aren't already please go sign up to be a donor here it saves lives and really ask yourself if you were in the situation people like me are in would you take an organ because if the answer is yes then there is absolutley no reason for you to not be a donor.


  1. Waiting on the list for a transplant is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life,like you say the crappest waiting game EVER!
    But it will happen I am sure, and when it does it will make all this waiting worthwhile.
    Sending all my best wishes and hopes that your call will come soon :)

  2. Dont worry Stacie.Everything will be fine. Was searching on Google about PPH and landed to this site and this has been an emotional saga...A loved one of mine has been diagonised with this dreadful disease and it hurts and pains me more than her. God exists and he will surely do something magical.Just that never lose the hope and someday in future you would laugh at yourself when you think all these. :) . Life and God just test us at time. Follow and Obey the lord and he will surely heal you from this terminal illness. You will get the transplant thing happening very soon and God Bless you Stacy :)

    1. I'm so sorry to hear that your loved one has PH, it's really not the best thing to be diagnosed with. I hope she/he are getting the treatment they need, once they get it right you can live quite a few years quite happily, I know I have.
      Thank you for your message I know so long as I stay strong I believe I will get my call it will likely be when I least expect it but when I most need it :-).

      Please give your loved one my best

      Stacie xoxo


Thank-you for commenting <3