Hey Blogland, 

So this morning I woke up to do my morning drugs as I normally do and I checked my phone like I normally do, only to find a text and a missed call from my friend Bernice. Firstly I thought "crap why didn't I hear it ring" and secondly I thought "omg". Bernice rang me to let me know that she had got her very shiny new lungs! Now of course I'm always pleased to hear about someone getting their call but usually that is always tinged with a little jealousy but once again, like with Kath's call, I couldn't be happier there isn't a jealous feeling to be had within me. I'm just so excited for Bernice. 

Me and Bernice have become really good friends over the past year and she has always been a massive support when I've needed her, we're the same age and go to the same hospital and all that helps. I'm just so pleased for her because I know her hospital trips had started to become more frequent and she was starting to need more help with things like breathing and I'm just so happy that her call came just in time for Christmas. 

It would be super cool if I got my call now, then I'd have someone to recover with and talk to. I will definitely be trying to make a visit up there when I know that she is on the mend. 

I kind of feel like I'm the only one left, I know I'm not, but when I was first put on the list I made friends with a bunch of people who were also on the list and most of them have either had their transplants or have died and I just sort feel like everyone is moving on. Although saying that I would rather it be me waiting than someone else, although not forever I hope.  I'm extremely lucky that I don't have the hospital stays that some of my fellow awaitees have to have, I get to be at home and spend time with my family, not in some hospital getting poked and prodded. Don't get me wrong I'm still very ill and definitely getting worse as pointed out by my lovely doctors but I feel so lucky to be able to wait at home and avoid hospital where I can. I know a lot of people in my position that simply don't have that luxury. 

So, please keep Bernice in your thoughts today that everything goes well and also for the donor family that have given her this amazing gift! 

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Why I believe in miracles

The life I have led has made me very cynical, I believe in very little anymore. You wouldn't think so when you meet me because I love disney, seriously hope that somewhere the world of Harry Potter does exist along with the world of Doctor Who and I'm one of the cheeriest people you will ever meet. All that being said I don't believe in much, there is no god in my opinion, I never believed in Santa, the tooth fairy definitely did not exist along with the easter bunny and all those other things you lie to your kids about, but one thing that I will forever believe in is miracles! I believe that even in the darkest times even a small ray of light can shine through. I may not believe in much but the one thing I do believe in is certainly worth my belief. I think people wonder why I'm so sure I'll get my transplant and it is quite simply because of this reason, miracles happen everyday you just don't see them unless you're directly affected by them. For me everyday I wake up is a miracle and I'm thankful for that everyday even if I don't say it and I will never stop believing in them because the day I do is the day you know I've given up.   

Chat soon guys 


  1. Never give up hope! Your time will come! And when it does then you'll feel amazing :) Keep being strong!

  2. Hey Stacie, I've been following your blog for quite some time now but don't think I have commented before. Apologies for that! This post is so lovely. Your perspective and strength are amazing. I have my fingers crossed for Bernice and have you in my thoughts too. Love Beeta xx

  3. I hope all goes well with Bernice!

  4. Your miracle will come! I hope your friend Bernice is feeling stronger every day :)

    xoxoxo from California

  5. Never give up Stacie! No matter what is happening, God has a plan for you. Everything happens for a reason, and your phone call will come :D you are such an inspiration, and I admire you so much! Stay strong :) I will be praying for you xx


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