17.12.13

Too much thinking...

Hey Blogland, 

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So today I have come to the conclusion that the reason I'm in the rut I'm in is because I am thinking way to much about this whole transplant thing. I haven't thought this much about it ever! This past week/2weeks it has been there niggling on my mind pretty much none stop all day everyday. That cannot be good for me psychologically speaking at least to have something constantly on the brain all the time, it is literally the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I torment myself about before I go to bed and it really just isn't good for me. The constant wondering and worrying over something that may never happen is just stupid. 

So ultimately I have come to conclusion that I'm ignoring it till after Christmas, if it happens before Christmas then whoop happy days but I'm just going to enjoy the Christmas season like I always do, thinking about something all of the time is really just so draining. 

I think I just have to believe that there is obviously a reason it hasn't happened yet... I don't know what that reason is (I'm hoping it's a good reason lol) but it's not something that can be rushed and I need to realise that this isn't something I can control. I just have to believe it WILL happen eventually and all I can do in the mean time is things I can control like my weight, keeping myself in the best condition possible for  it when it does happen because that will make the world of difference when it does happen. 

I'm kind of hoping it is next year now though because if you guys remember I said how the number 14 was my number, well it is 2014 next year so maybe that is my year and maybe I should never have expected it to happen in any other year? LOL      

Chat soon guys 

1 comment:

  1. I can't imagine what your going through but I know the feeling of something playing on your mind and trying to forget is easier said then done but my gramp once said to me when I said I was worrying about something, that there is no point wasting time worrying about something you cannot change. And that's helped me through some worries I've had. I hope you get your happy ever after! And have a lovely happy Christmas xx

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