There was also a point in time where I felt really alone like I was doing this by myself, or at least like I had to do it by myself, but the past week or so kind of in unison with how I think about my life afterwards I suddenly feel like I have this horde of people behind me, supporting me, willing me on. It's a really nice feeling because sometimes I feel like the fact I'm still waiting for my transplant is starting to bore people, normally I feel like people just feel like "Oh for god sake make it happen already so we don't have to hear about it anymore" and trust me I feel that way about myself sometimes too. At the moment though I feel like its more a feeling of love from people like they want something really good to happen. It's such a nice feeling and I really feel like I will be able to do it. I sometimes I ask myself "Can you really do this Stacie? Is it really worth it?" Suddenly I feel like I can do this and I will do it because I simply cannot wait to live the life that is waiting for me.