6.2.14

Horrifically awful...

Hey blogland, 

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So I have just returned from my GP's after having my monthly bloods done, fun times. I'm not doing so awesome it would seem. At my last Hammersmith appointment they upped my Flolan medication which should hopefully make my breathing etc. better but so far all it's doing is making me feel awful.

When I was first put on Flolan and all my subsequent dose changes since I haven't really felt any side affects but this time I feel like someone has run over me with a truck. My head is all cotton bally, I'm the most ridiculous shade of purple and I'm feeling so sick and nauseous. Last night I felt so weird, I can't even properly describe it I just didn't feel myself at all. My mum is the best mum ever and even stayed with me until I fell asleep to make sure I was okay. I honestly don't have a clue what it was but I think it was making me really anxious as well which wasn't helping, because I'm some-one who very much needs to be in control of everything and when something happens that I'm not used to or don't understand it makes me really anxious. Every-time I got near sleep I would wake myself up because somewhere in the back of my mine I kept thinking what if it's something really bad and I don't wake up? Ridiculous I know but because it was such a weird feeling I wasn't sure how to handle it.

I've only got to up the dose one more time so I'm hoping this feeling is only going to last a few more days, a week at most *fingers crossed*, or my transplant can just happen and then I don't have to get used to it at all haha!

I'm starting to worry a little with how many bad days I've been having, I can't actually remember the last time I felt completely okay. When I say okay I mean a good day for me, they all seem to be bad days at the moment if it's not one thing then it's another. I'm looking forward to not feeling sick, or ill anymore but in the mean time I have my extensive DVD collection, my cosy pyjamas and my amazing duvet to me company and comfortable lol.

I hope you are all well wherever you are and whatever you are doing :)    

Chat soon guys 
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8 comments:

  1. That sounds awful stacie, I wish there was something I could say, or anyone could say to make you feel a bit better... But I'm hoping you get a peaceful night of sleep and you feel a bit better tomorrow <3

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    1. Aww thank-you I'm sure a full nights sleep will do wonders LOL and lovely comments always make me feel happy :D xxx.

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  2. Hope you feel better really really soon Stacie! Thinking of you, big hug from Switzerland :)

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  3. Hi Stacie, sorry you're not feeling yourself. I hope and pray that in a day or two you'll be much better. It's amazing really that if you're like me you don't need to feel anywhere near 100% to feel good even 50% can be great! So just imagine how awesome you will feel when you get your new parts? I love the way you finish on a positive note. Rest well. Maria : ) x

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    1. I would love 50% at the moment Maria, I totally know what you mean :) That's really true I've never actually thought about it like that, if I feel great at 50 I can't imagine how awesome I'll feel after :D, excited :D xoxo

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  4. Aww Stacie that is awful. I remember feeling like that and in the end they had to reduce my dose because I just couldn't get used to it. Hope you feel better soon but mostly hoping you get your transplant.

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    1. Awww thanks Hazel! I'm sure I'll feel better soon, especially now I've stopped upping it but hopefully that will be the last time I have to up it before I get my transplant :D xoxo

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Thank-you for commenting <3