Hey Blogland,  
So this morning started off pretty crappy. I haven't been feeling well due to my stupid cold so I'm just generally feeling a bit rubbish and then to add fuel to the fire no-body could take me to work so I had to get a taxi (as I can no longer get the bus, or I could I just would not make it through my shift at work if I did) so I was just generally feeling annoyed and irritated by those things. When I got in the taxi I was coughing as I do which was a bit more phlegmy and more gross that it usually is due to my cold and the bloke turns round and asks me if I've been smoking too many fags? I was polite and said no and I just had a cold, but it really did annoy me! Probably feelings that were strengthened by the fact I was already annoyed and irritated anyway. It really gets to me though when people feel the need to comment on stuff like that. 

A fellow PHer said he was probably just trying to break the ice, which he probably was. The problem is I get this in so many different aspects of my life that it just adds fuel to an already raging fire. I would like to know though when it became common practise to make presumptions about people? Its not like people go up to really morbidly obese people and tell them they should eat less because thats seen as rude and inconsiderate but it's okay to tell a really slim person to eat more because somehow thats less offensive, when actually it's not because some really slim people would love to put on weight and for some reason a lot of them can't and it can be just as offensive to tell them to eat more as it would be if you told a morbidly obese person to eat less. The same rules apply here. I get a lot of people, customers at work, who tell me I should exercise more and then I wouldn't be so out of breath. Baring in mind these people are complete strangers who don't know me from Adam but because I look perfectly healthy maybe a little on the chubby side they feel like it's okay to comment on the fact that I'm out of breath and don't even seem to consider that it might be offensive to me in someway. But because I'm a nice person and don't really like awkward conversation I laugh and shake it off when inside I'm literally raging because is it really necessary to say that to me. 

It's the same with my voice, because of my vocal chords my voice is somewhat unusual and I'm very aware of my voice and conscious of how people perceive it and it gets even worse when I have a cold and whenever people make a one off remark about it I obsess about it because it really gets to me and I know it shouldn't because I don't know them but it does. 

So when this guy this morning decided that it was okay to question why I had my cough and presumed it was because I smoke too many fags I then spent the majority of the morning trying not to cough for fear of someone else making a similar comment.

It's okay when people I know joke about different things I have wrong with me because I know them and I can tell from their tone, their body language all that type of stuff what they mean by it and I know my friends and family aren't judging me. To people I don't know I give off this very confidant demeanour but inside I'm the most self conscious person I know. When I've spoken to someone I can go over that conversation in my head many times trying to think about the way I said something because sometimes I worry that I've offended someone because I can be quite blunt and sarcastic and if you don't know me then that can sometimes come across as me being off with you, when I'm not and that worries me that I might have offended someone. I'm very self conscious about the way I look, ask my family I obsess over my arms and I don't just mean little bit I really do obsess over them I hate the way my upper arms look. I can only identify 2 things about my body that I like, my eye colour and my hair (an even sometimes, especially on hot days that one can change) it used to be 3 until I had my line in and they gave me scars on my neck. 

Essentially what I'm trying to say here is people should think a bit more before they say things especially when it's people they don't know, something meant completely innocently could be the thing that throws someone off the edge. 

 Chat soon guys 

1 comment:

  1. Aww stacie. Dont let people get you down. Your gorgeous as you are. Unfortunately its in human nature to judge people before getting to know them. People constantly think im annoyed but its just my face. Just coz I dont walk around with a smile on my face all the time. Thats something that always stood out for me was you always had a smile on your face at school.


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