Decisions UN-made...

Hello my lovelies,

So today was my return to work after 5 weeks off. That wasn't all ill I think 3 weeks was ill time and 2 weeks was holiday which in hindsight I probably don't deserve because I have so much time off sick but that's neither here nor there. I kind of went in today with my mind set that today was going to decide whether I was still fit enough to work. I was sure that it was going to kill me and it still does but I still think I can carry on working. I'm clearly still very ill and it makes me feel horrid at the end of it but there are others factors in the decision too that at the moment still over power the fact that it makes me ill. A lot of my time at the moment is spent at home in bed I would actually hazard a guess at probably about 75-80% of my time is spent sleeping on oxygen at the moment. Going to work although hard and draining it's interaction with people, my friends at work whom I love and the general public albeit a fair few of them being total utter knobs but I suppose they're the people that make life just that little bit interesting, they're the people that we get to have a little laugh at. This is the problem I'm having because I think that interaction is great for me, I am a renowned people person, people energise me and make me happy (most people that is, you know there are a few that are just impossible LOL). So it's a toss up between two completely different things. On the one hand it's physically draining on me but on the other hand it lifts my spirits seeing my work chummies and having a laugh or getting to listen to regular people problems and normal people drama's. It's a escape from a quite simply difficult life and talking to someone else about their life and what's happening with them is wonderful for me it means I don't have to focus on things that are honestly getting a bit heavy on my not very strong shoulders. So for now I think I'm going to carry on as physically draining as it is, it adds a semblance of normalcy to my life and is mentally beneficial  I think.

As well as having to wake up at 5:30 and go to work today I also got to celebrate my sister's fiancees birthday as he was turning the grand old age of 24 today. They're having a piss up tonight which I'm not par taking in but we went to a restaurant thing in Bristol which has some kind of "Man vs Food" challenges which Warren, Candice, Sam and Ben wanted to do. I'm very much a eat a lot throughout the day kind of person not a eat a lot in one go kind of person so I got a normal person sized meal that I still couldn't finish LOL. Ben had something slightly smaller than what Sam, Candy and Warren had but it was still huge and he managed to finish it and he got a little certificate and his photo taken. Candy, Sam and Warren had something called the trash-can challenge, I think it was called. Their food arrived presented in a trash can lid (obviously clean.) There was a lot of food on it no chance in hell would I have been able to do it, Ribs, Burger, chicken skewer, 3 portions of chips, chilli sundae, beans, peas, onion rings and thats all I can remember but needless to say they didn't finish them LOL. Although the excuse was that if they could have reheated it they would have carried on at the end (yeah sure ;-]). It was a nice afternoon, I was shattered by the time I got home I had only had 30 mins of oxygen between waking up and getting home so my chest really hurt and I was very tired but it was worth it though :). 

Right now I'm currently watching Eurovision which I have no idea why but I say every year I'm not going to watch it, yet every year without fail I still do. The mind boggles.

Umm also just a side note I'm not sure when my next blog post will be as I'm off to Hammersmith on Monday and it is still unknown as to whether they will keep me in or not, if they do internet access will be scarce so it might be a while before the next post as I hate doing blogposts on my phone although if it's important I will be sure to do it.

Chat soon guys 

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