Sense of Relief...

Hey Blogland

So my Hammersmith appointment was pretty uneventful really. I got there about 10:30 and just sat around for ages waiting to one of my specialist nurses who turned up and asked all the regular "how are you doing?" Questions and then she took a look at my line to get the general gist of the situation. It was decided that it is definitley puss and not fluid created by movement, which I had already guessed but obviously they had to be sure. We aren't sure why the antibiotics aren't getting rid of it but we waited to see one of my consultants and we all decided that the best course of action is to get it out and put in a new one. Luckily I won't need to go onto IV's unless it hits my blood stream between now and then, fingers crossed it doesn't, the doctors didn't want to admit me there and then because currently they have a few people waiting for things and I would just get added onto the list and be waiting in hospital for a random slot to open. So they are going to book me in which is much easier than just waiting for something to appear and hopefully that will mean I will only be there for about 4 days. They seemed really happy to send me home because they know I'm cleaning it everyday and taking my temperature about 3-4 times a day so they know I'm ontop of it. 

My lovely friend Rosie paid me a visit while I was there which was so, so wonderful of her. She lives in Essex and it was her day off so she decided to come be my hospital buddy for the day bless her. That's a true friend who will give up their day off to spend it in a hospital and on trains. I'm so pleased she was there because it made the day go much faster and you know me at the moment over thinking everything and just being able to chat and talk with one of my best friends really, really helps. 

My doctors seem quite adamant that they wanted me to not miss my counselling session on Wednesday too, I can kind of see their point because they only ever see the really chipper me, the "oh yeah, I'm okay" "I'm sure it'll sort itself out" me which is stupid because my doctors obviously want to know what's wrong with me and stuff that's happening but I don't like to complain to them. I feel like I take up enough of their time already that I don't need to be adding my worries onto them as well. I'm a happy person and I hide behind it a lot I don't ever want to burden my friends or my family with the worries I have because they aren't run of the mill worries and they aren't worries that anyone can help with unless of course any one happens to know what happens when we die, you know for certain, not maybes, with absolute proof because then I wouldn't worry so much. Maybe talking about these things to a complete stranger will help but something tells me unless he knows the answers to my worries I'm still going to worry about them. 

I just went out and got my prescription and I swear it happening more and more often, either that or time is just going super fast so it seems like it's happening more and more often LOL. It was really funny, I wanted to buy a new thermometer because my current one isn't very reliable. I brought a cheap one and it's a bit rubbish when my temperatures normal it says it's 34 degrees which isn't right so if it ever got up to 36/37 I'd know it was high but I've been getting a bit fed-up of having to guess whether it is or not so I brought a decent one while I was picking up my prescription. It was a bit more than I would have like to have spent on a thermometer but what you gonna do? Meg was sure it was for babies though because it had a baby on the cover and I was like "No. It's just normally people only have thermometers because they have babies" anyway she made us ask to make sure and the woman was like "well you can take your temperature if you need to." Anyway this led to me explaining that I'm waiting for a heart and lung transplant and about my line but because I was filling out my prescription sheet when I said it I didn't see her face but Meg was like "OMG her face when you said you were waiting for a Heart and Lung transplant it was hilarious!" Apparently it shocks people who see me when they find out LOL. The good thing though is that now I don't have to guess if my temperature is high and Hammersmith said if my temperature goes above 37.5 degrees they'll get me in as a emergency, so cool beans. 

I feel so much more relaxed about it now that my PH doctors have seen my line and that we finally have a plan of action in place. I very much worry about the unknown and not knowing what's happening and what's going on tends to make me very anxious so I feel like I can breathe a half sigh of relief :). 

Chat soon guys 

1 comment:

  1. So glad you are feeling more relaxed! :) <3



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