As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon
I'm freaking myself out guys!!
I'm just trying to do some research into PGCE's, Post Graduate Certificate in Education for those who don't know, and OMG I'm feeling a lot of pressure all of a sudden. I'm about to do the last module of my degree which is a HARD module, like ridiculous amount of research, lots of extra reading kind of hard. Some of my previous modules weren't amazing results but still okay and I was proud of them nonetheless because I got those passes whilst going through some very tough times the problem is a University is not going to care about the "tough times" that I was going through whilst still managing to maintain a decent level within my modules and I wouldn't use them to qualify those results to them either.
The University I would particularly like to go to, to do a PGCE would ideally be Oxford Brookes of UWE because Oxford Brookes is literally a bus or train ride away and UWE the same also applies. I think I may find it easier getting into UWE but I still have the issue that I have to do quite well on this upcoming module and if I don't do that wonderfully because I have a tonne of interfering hospital crap then there's a chance I won't be able to do it. There will be some saying that I should use it to my advantage but I have absolutely never ever used my illness to help me get anywhere when it comes to my education. I got into UWE after my A-Levels on my own merits my UCAS personal statement mentioned nothing of my condition or the obstacles I had to overcome whilst in college even though my Tutor told me that I should put it in there somewhere. Being the stubborn girl I am though I think my work and results should speak for themselves. I shouldn't have doors opened for me just because of a genetically flawed anatomy. Every time I think about the fact that I got into Uni when I was 19 but wasn't allowed to go, it makes me want to bang my head against a wall. If I had been allowed to go I would have been done with all of this, I know I would! It's just hard for me to accept that's all. I know my health had to come first though and I do accept that. I did accept it and I still got to do my degree just the slow way, through the Open University. I suppose if it doesn't work out the way I want it to I can always be proud of the fact that I will have a degree just not the most amazing degree on the planet lol.
I'm just stressing myself out a bit guys because I'm sure that I will get my transplant soon [optimistic Stacie today ;)] and therefore I want to be running straight at my future full throttle as soon as I am able and I just don't want some Sub par grades to hold me back from it. It also doesn't help that trying to work out the Honours system with the Open Uni is stressful enough without all the PGCE stuff too.
It will be fine though I'm sure, I just needed a place to vent for a second :-D
Hello my lovelies,
Who knew searching for a car would be so stressful?! I certainly didn't.
Okay to fill you in we have a motability car. Because of my condition we have to have a reliable car that can take me to and from all my various different hospital appointments and when I get my transplant I will be doing the 3 hours journey to and from Papworth at least once a week after I'm initially released and we don't know how long that will go on for. Anyway our current car is up for renewal soon and when we got that car we didn't really have a clue what our needs were or what they would come to be so we just chose any old thing that we liked and we ended up with a Nissan Juke, which don't get me wrong is a lovely car it just doesn't accommodate our needs any more. I'm using Wheelchairs a lot more than I ever did 3 years ago and the long journeys just aren't that comfortable in the Juke.
We had no idea it would be so hard to find a car that wasn't horrible visually but had the boot space we needed i.e could fit more than just the wheelchair in, had space in the back so you didn't feel like a sardine and didn't have a low lying roof so that every time you went over a bump your head would bang on the roof (reason for that being we live in the centre of a circle surround by roads with hundreds [no exaggeration] of speed bumps, sometimes you feel like you should wear a helmet in the Juke when you're in the back.)
So I think we went to nearly all the car dealerships in Swindon and if we did find one we liked that had everything that we wanted it had a ridiculous down payment that you had to put down which I just cannot afford to pay. So we were pretty much nearly giving up and one of our last port of calls was Vauxhall. I don't particularly have an opinion on Vauxhalls and had no idea what we would find but we found the car that we are getting The "Vauxhall Zafira Tourer"
I'm really happy with it and just so pleased we have finally decided. I'm not the biggest car person as it is, so spending days trying to pick a car and dealing with sales person after sales person is so not my idea of fun. I love the fact that it has quite a bit of space in the back so I will be perfectly comfortable in the back sleeping on our long journeys to and fro from Papworth and if we decide to go on a big shopping trip we won't have to curb how much we buy because there is plenty of space in the boot to fit a wheelchair and our shopping bags too. Priorities people ;)
So on Tuesday we will be going back to Vauxhall as that is my dad's first day off and putting our order in for the car Phew!
Yesterday I attempted a Vlog, and I seriously emphasise the word attempted LOL but I thought I would show you the result as I told my sister I would so without further ado this is what my mum, sisters and I got up to yesterday :)
I will continue to attempt little vlogs here and there just to diverse-a-fy it up a little bit because I like to see videos every now and then but I do find the writing aspect loads easier so that is why vlogs will only be every now and then.
Chat soon guys
Hello my lovelies!
At the moment I'm really just happy and relaxed about life and I'm loving it. I went to my INR Appointment today (Blood test to find out how fast your blood clots) and it was 2.2 which is great for me, we like it to be between 2.0 and 2.5 and for the past 3 months it has been really stable and has stayed in-between that range so I don't have to go back till mid September which is amazing. I think the last time I had a gap that long was last year sometime? Yeah it must have been just before I got my septicaemia, so god that's over a year ago woah! The only other appointment I have this month is my monthly bloods which isn't until later on in the month which means August is just turning out to be a quite hospital free month. Things start to pick up again in September and October but I'm just enjoying the freedom a bit.
I seem to be feeling really well within myself which I know I don't often say and it's really great that I actually can say that. I think it's a combination of things I'm not working so I'm not having to recover from that and I'm just not overdoing it. I'm enjoying the good days.
Because I'm feeling so well and just quite happy at the moment I'm trying to kind of avoid any news on others who may be getting their transplants and that type of thing because I know as soon as I see something like that I will feel really down again and I just don't want that because with that comes guilt and jealousy, you know just a mixture of emotions because I'll be feeling one thing and then feel bad for feeling that particular emotion because I should be feeling a different emotion. So when I go on Facebook I'll have a quick skim of the timeline check in on particular people and then try and not delve to deep into it if you know what I mean. I think that's the only way I'll stay in my happy little bubble for the time being. I know transplants are happening and that's wonderful but for me and right now I just do not need to see or know about them.
In other news or magazines should I say the youngest Miss Pridden and I will be featuring in this weeks "Reveal" magazine which is quite cool. So if you want to go and get that and read it you can do. Once I get a hold of it I'm sure I will be adding it to my "Features Page"
Yesterday James, Megan and I made our way to the LG arena in Birmingham to finally make use of our Christmas presents which was to go and see Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway tour. We love Ant and Dec! For me I just find them so down to earth and genuinely nice, funny guys who are just a breath of fresh air if you've had a tough day or whatever. If you just sit down to watch a show of theirs or a show that they are presenting, they make you laugh and it's all just really lighthearted and fun.
We got there pretty early at about 4:30 just because we wanted to avoid traffic and just in case we weren't able to get a disabled spot and I would have to actually walk a considerable distance or you know anything stupid. Me and Meg like to be prepared for any and all eventualities. Luckily we were able to get a disabled spot and the LG arena wasn't as big a I had anticipated so I was able to walk around without much difficulty which was great. I got a bit Merchandise happy when we got there....
I had intended not to buy anything or if I would buy anything it would literally be a programme. To be honest though this ^^^^^ is much better than what I could have spent! I could have brought hoodies, t-shirts, tote bags, wristbands, the lot! Here we have the "Team Dec" "Team Ant" foam fingers. I personally am "Team Both" but coincidentally we were sat on the left hand side of the arena which meant we ended up being Team Ant much to Megan's dismay but I didn't mind what team we were LOL. I also got a lanyard and a keyring because if you know me I like to have mementoes of things I've been to and seen particularly key rings.
It's hard to really describe how amazing the show was unless you were there, the one liners the constant jokes just the atmosphere was incredible. It was such an interactive show lots of cheering and booing from our side when Dec's team cheated in the audience part of Ant vs. Dec part of the show. It was all in good humour though. A particular favourite part of the show involved Stephen Mulhern which I can't actually disclose because of future shows but it was actually hysterical I haven't laughed so much in so long.
They involved the audience so much throughout the whole show and it was just a amazing experience and I would love to go again if they ever plan on doing another tour which probably wouldn't happen for a few more years. I was so knackered by the end of the show and my voice was almost gone after all the cheering and singing because I don't have a particularly strong voice to begin with. It was just so much fun and if any of you are going to one of their shows you will really enjoy it!
Here are a few photos from the evening so enjoy...
Chat soon guys
Hello my lovelies!
If you've read my "About me" page then you will know I'm not exactly young being 23 and all. I suppose most of you reading this will assume being 23 means I'm a grown-up I certainly thought when I was younger being in my 20's would mean I was a "proper" adult. I was talking to a friend of mine and we were just talking about you know general life things and I kind of wondered when we became adults or if we actually are?
My twin sister and her Fiancee have brought a house and that's extremely "adult" in my opinion. My older sister has children and also lives with her fiancee and they have their own little family, that is as near enough as adult as you can get. Then my friends, pretty much all of them have full time jobs, have graduated from university are building lives for themselves, doing what I thought I would be doing by now too. My friend Rosie's dedication about getting the experience she needs for what she wants to become puts her VERY high up on my "people I admire" list and all of this just seems very grown-up to me.
When ever I'm around my family and friends though I don't feel like any of us are really grown-ups but I feel like their life stories say different. I don't feel like I have become the grown-up I was meant to be yet. There are those that will probably think that a lot of what I have done and have been through seems very grown-up but to me it isn't, I know children who are going through what I have been through and some who have been through worse, does that make them a grown-up? It just means people like myself have been through a lot for our age.
I suppose in some sense my medical stuff makes me a grown-up. I make up my medication which goes in me intravenously and therefore has to be made up in a sterile environment and probably wouldn't be trusted with a child what with needles and things. I'm in control of all my other medication so much so that I do not trust even nurses to administer them to me. I go to my hospital appointments by myself, I'm in control of when my weekly and monthly bloods are done. I pick up my prescription. All of that screams "grown-up" yet I still don't feel like it.
I think for me being a grown-up means paying rent or a mortgage, paying bills [<-- I kind of do already do this but not to the extent that most people have to], having a full time job, having your own place, all those classic things which to me just signify that you are officially a grown-up.
I'm very lucky that my parents do not charge me rent or ask for money towards their bills and any money I do have is my own which helps me to get out and about to and from hospital as I get taxis' pretty much everywhere and I get to enjoy time with my friends too. There is this small part of me that wonders when I'm actually going to get to be a grown-up. Will it be when I eventually graduate? But I still plan on doing a PGCE after that. Will it be when I get my transplant? But then I still have a long recovery time after that. Will it be when I eventually get a full time job? When I pluck up the courage to actually move out post transplant?
I'm not sure I actually want to be a grown-up because it sounds really hard a lot of the time, plus I think even when I eventually get to do all of the things I consider being a grown-up I still won't be one because I will never give up disney, I'll never give up junk food movie days with my friends. I think it's just a case of me wanting to do all the things I've always wanted to do and it just so happens that most of those things are what I consider to mean being a grown-up. Maybe none of us ever actually grow up though because I will still have the attitude and mind I do now just with the stresses that are placed on adults.
So last week was my friend Erika's Birthday and she very kindly invited me to her Birthday party which was on the Saturday just gone. She was having a fancy dress party and you may or may not know that I do like an excuse to dress up. Or I do like an excuse to dress up as long as I know other people will be doing the same. No-one likes to be the only Lemon at a party who actually did dress up. Luckily Erika assured me that lots of people would be.
So I got my outfit inspiration from Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, yes I know I am neither tanned or tiny, but it was still a really nice outfit and I was super comfortable in it. That is what I look for in a outfit if I feel comfortable then I know I am onto a winner. I don't know why but all women fancy dress costumes seems to just be really short skirts or cat suits and I don't feel comfortable in either of those, or I can do but it would have to be around people that I really knew and this was a party where I was going to know probably about 3 people LOL.
When I got there I got to meet lots of Erika's friends and her family and they all seem really lovely. Apparently I don't look 23 and it seems I can pass for a 17/18 year old, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but I'll take it as a compliment. It made me really miss school though talking to all Erika's friends. They've all just finished year 11 and they were talking about prom and getting their results and just general school stuff and it just really made me miss school. I actually cannot believe it's been 7 years since I finished school!
As Erika is a avid Tinkerbell fan but has only ever seen the first movie I got her all 5 Tinkerbell movies because as I am a avid Tinkerbell fan myself I think everyone should watch all of them! :-D I had such a good time meeting everyone and I can't wait to wear my outfit again :-).
Here are a few photos from the evening.
|Erika as Tinkerbell and me as Princess Jasmine :)|
|Erika and lot's of Erika's friends|
|Amy, Megan, Me, Erika, Chloe & Darcy|
|Erik getting her Birthday cake :)|
|Erika's cousin Dan and his girlfriend Jess|
|Dan and Erika|
|Erika about to open her Birthday Presents|
So the past few years I've lived feeling like I haven't needed to save money. Not to any great extent anyway. I have kind of lived thinking if I'm going to die then what's the point in having savings? It's not like I'm going to be alive to spend it. More recently though I've started to feel like the longer I've been waiting for my transplant the closer I am to actually getting my transplant. The problem is when I do eventually get my transplant I have all these amazing plans for things I want to do but I'm not going to be able to do them because I'll have no money to. So I've decided to start saving some money. I did try to do it a while back but then I gave up but I am determined to do it. and I'm going to show the various different devices which are going to help me.
Firstly I plan not to take my credit card out with me anymore. If you are reading this and are under 18 or any-one over 18 actually and are thinking of getting one, please for the love of god do not! I repeat this DO NOT get a credit card. Way more hassle than it's worth I promise you! I tend to have it for emergencies but sometimes a nice lunch with a friend or a dress I just have to have seems like a "emergency" at the time. We need to do a bit or rewiring in the old noggin but it's doable as long as I leave it at home!
Secondly I have decided to try and use cash only when I'm out and about. I find that if I use my Debit card I tend to forget how much I'm actually spending unless I can physically see it and touch it I seem to be completely unaware of it.
Thirdly I have these three pots which I'm hoping will help. We have the Post Box one which is Classic "piggy bank" style which I plan on putting notes in. I'm thinking like £10-£20 a week, I feel like that's reasonable. The good thing about it is that I can take it out if I actually do have a cash emergency and am in desperate need of money lol. Then we have just a standard Mason Jar which I plan on putting small change in, not that I ever really have small change any more but I hoping with the plan to start carrying more cash on me rather than using my debit card then any change from that should accumulate a nice little amount. Then we have the "Dream Pot" this one will probably be the most successful pot. This one you can't physically get into unless you smash it so sounds good to a serial spender like me. I'm planning on putting £1 and £2 coins in this and hopefully by the time I get my transplant I will have accumulated a nice sum of money and be able to go to some of the places I've always dreamed of and do some of the things I've wanted to do for so long.
Let me know if you have any great money saving tips and I'll maybe add them to my list of things I should do :)
|Instagram --> @staciep90|