14.1.15

1,000 Days...

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1,000 Days

What have you done since April 2012? I bet you have a list as long as your arm of trips, occasions, achievements and accomplishments that you did and got in those 1,000 days. 

What I have I done since April 2012? 

Waited.

For 1,000 days I have been waiting, most of it has been very patiently but I must admit since my last false alarm on September 25th 2014 my patience has started to wear extremely thin. When you go to hospital and the doctors as much as someone in my position does, patience is a something that becomes a part of you, you cannot get through your life without some form of patience or you would always be shouting at staff for their ineptitude, for hospitals lack of communication with one another and would be constantly frustrated with waiting in waiting rooms. Patience is a skill that is of very high value in my kind of life. The problem though? It's 1,000 days. 

There's different kinds of patience though you know? You may think you're patient because you managed to wait 18 months for some holiday that you saved to go on but the thing is you knew that was going to happen, you waited patiently because at the end of it you knew without a doubt you would get to go on that holiday. Now imagine having to wait for an unknown length of time for something that may not happen. That's the kind of patience I have had to acquire the past 1,000 days.
 
This is honestly not something I would wish on anybody. I'm starting to lose my rag with it all and the problem is I can't just throw in the towel so what do I do? I stay in bed listening to audiobooks, watching movies just trying to ignore everything. I'll listen to and watch peoples pretend, perfect, happy ending lives and ignore my life for a while. Seems like the best plan to me lol. 

I've not been feeling that well for the past week or so and in the past 9 days I've only spent one of those not in pyjamas so that's probably why I'm a bit grumpy about it all, although that being said if I was feeling okay I still would be grumpy about it I think. 

I hope it's not much longer 1,000 days certainly seems like I have done enough waiting. Whatever unknown, mysterious thing I'm being punished for I've done my time. 

As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon 
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7 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear the your patience is wearing thin. When your transplant comes it will be worth it and it will be special! I guess life like shooting an arrow, you've got to be pulled back painfully slow before you're shot forward at the worlds fastest rate. Hang in there and shooting all my thoughts and prayers your way. Gina x

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  2. Hi, I just wanted to say that I really like your blog and I find it and you so inspirational, so I nominated you for the Liebster awards :) - everything's in the post

    http://zariel0087.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/the-liebster-awards-zahra.html xx

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  3. Hi my lovely, sorry to hear it's been so long :( you should definitely continue to be the inspiring and wonderful lady you are though. I hope this blog can be somewhere you can escape to on those tough days, it'll come soon i'm sure! :) lots of love!

    http://emmahopenewitt.blogspot.co.uk/

    Em xxx

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  4. Thank-you Em!!!! :D <3

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  5. Thank-you Zahra!

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  6. Thank-you Gina!! Your comments always make me feel so much better and are an absolute pleasure to read :D <3 xoxo

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  7. No worries, glad I could help xx although i have a completely different condition. I think we're all in the same boat when it comes to waiting for treatments, cures, doctors, etc. Keep fighting xx

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Thank-you for commenting <3