16.9.15

I DID IT...

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So it would seem that the year 2015 has been a year of achievements for me, firstly I got my Transplant which is and has been a ultimate life goal or where I had been heading to for 13ish years and it finally happened after my very long wait of 3 years but there was also something else I was working towards too. Since February 4th 2011 I have been working towards a Bachelor Honours History Degree.   

It wasn't long after I started my degree that I started to get worse and in May that year is when the whole transplant stuff started happening and even though it was a scary process and I probably could have stopped doing my degree then before it even really had a chance to start I decided "No, I have to have something to keep me busy!" I refused to let the whole needing a transplant thing completely take over my whole life and by doing my degree it kind of gave me something to aim for that in my eyes was more achievable than getting a transplant which we all know may never have happened. Admittedly I could have died before I finished my degree and I nearly did but it was kind of a light at the end of the tunnel that I could aim for. You can get so stuck waiting for your transplant to happen that you forget other things and just generally stop living. My degree provided me with some kind of hope that I could have a life after my transplant I wouldn't just be the girl who just waited for her transplant to happen. 

Having my degree gave me something else to focus on and it wasn't all just transplant, transplant, transplant. Admittedly there were points that I thought "Do i really need to be doing this? I mean I'm probably just going to die anyway." Then there was just after I had, had my bout of septicaemia, my PH was getting worse and I was still trying to recover from the infection (it took a long time) and this meant I couldn't stay on the track I was previous to this doing 120 credits a year so the aim was to get my degree done in 3 years but physically and I suppose mentally as well I just couldn't keep on top of the workload so around Christmas 2013 I had to swallow my pride and drop one of my modules which therefore meant it was going to take an extra year to finish my degree. It was a blow to me because by Christmas 2013 finishing my degree by June 2014 seemed doable I felt like I could make  June 2014 but how the hell was I going to make June 2015? I carried on though and the module I dropped was the one I had been most looking forward to so I felt like that would keep me going enough because I would be enjoying it rather than it being the complete chore that it could have felt like. I'm lucky I finished some essays through this degree, sometimes I was just to ill to get out of bed and stay awake long enough to do them but I did. I think through the entire thing I missed ONE!  

Then guys that fateful day in May I had just spent a lovely evening until 4:30am revising as my exam was coming up on the following Wednesday so only a few days away and Low and behold I finally get my transplant. One of my first thoughts was "crap my exam is on Wednesday" and then following thoughts of "If this is a false alarm I'm missing a entire days worth of revision for no reason" (I obviously couldn't concentrate enough to take any revision with me that and the fact I had had 30 minutes sleep lol) and finally "crap I'm going to have to do it in September" I kind of wanted to just get the exam over and done with but obviously I was more than ecstatic about my transplant and would much rather have been doing that than a exam although I do remember contemplating asking if they'd let me do it in the hospital as I was awake and fairly copes mentus at the time lol I might have been able to pass it... maybe ;-) . For the past 2 weeks though I have just been thinking "Oh for God sake this should have been over by now!" just because I hate revising it's the most mundane thing in the world.     

So today on Wednesday 16th September 2015 I have officially finished my degree!!! I DID IT!!! 

I'm honestly not the smartest person in the world and whatever I have achieved in my life be that personally, academically, medically I have always had to work very hard for it. I have had to dig very deep at times for motivation and determination to do them. Exams have never come easy to me either I find I have to be very interested in the topic that I'm learning about otherwise I have to force myself to concentrate which I had to do a lot through this degree. I think whatever I get I'm just proud of myself for doing it because there were many times in the past 4 years where I simply could have just said "You know what? Fuck it! Why do I need this?" but I think part of me just knew that at the end of it I would appreciate it and I've officially managed to get a degree without all the student debt associated with it which I'm so chuffed with because I'm sure that would have stressed me out immensely. 

So Guys massive achievement No.2 of 2015 is that I have officially FINISHED my history degree. 
The Second biggest WHOOP I have ever done in my life :) 

Now to figure out what next... possibly driving :D 

As always, thank-you for reading guys and chat soon
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2 comments:

  1. Yeah Stacie!! That's amazing well done, you should be so proud! x

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  2. Yay, what a year for you :) Congrats. I love reading your blog, it's very inspirational. Much Love xx

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