14.12.15

12 Days of Christmas || Day 7 || Twenty Five...


I am officially Twenty Five. 

I'm going to be honest I haven't been looking forward to this birthday at all this year. There's some family stuff going on that I won't go into but it's just making things a bit hard and something that I'm normally very excited for and can't usually wait for could really just pass by completely unacknowledged this year and I really wouldn't mind at all. The thing is no matter what is going on in my family life I personally need to acknowledge this day because it's a birthday I honestly never thought I would ever see. 

I grew up with a goal of reaching 18 and when I reached that age my next goal was 21 because that was the 10 years life span my doctors had given my drugs and then finally I was put on the list where the doctors told me that they thought I had around 3 years left to live and that was the last goal that I set myself before my transplant. I pushed myself to the absolute limit getting past that 3 year mark and luckily all that waiting and pain paid off. Now I have a new target in my head and one I won't share but it's also a birthday that I've been telling people my entire life I would never ever see. 

It's a bit weird for me turning 25 though. I kind of resent having a number applied to me because I missed out on so much during my teen years and my early twenties that 25 is old to me and I've never had the opportunity to be young. Twenty Five in my kind of life is mid life maybe even later (but we'll assume I'll be lucky here), I am already half way through my life if I am lucky, whereas for my twin sister this is only a quarter of the way through her life, it's a bit unfair really but hey that's what life is right? And I'm lucky that I'm even here when so many aren't and didn't make it.       

People have been asking me what I want for my birthday and christmas this year and quite honestly nothing. I already got the rest of my life worth of presents back in May. A complete stranger gave me everything I could ever need, My life back. This day is more for her than me because without her and the surgeons and doctors who saved me I wouldn't be here. I've never had my own birthday it has always been shared and I have always loved that, so today mine and my sisters birthday will also be for her now too as she will live on through me and possibly others too so she might have many birthdays now but I'm more than happy for her to share mine and Meg's :-) 

As always, thank-you for reading and chat soon. 
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1 comment:

  1. charity tillemann-dick15 December 2015 at 20:51:00 GMT

    Sometimes, I feel I've faced so many medical challenges that it would only be fair for the other problems to just go away. But they don't. Here's to normal problems and hoping that you find wonderful solutions. God bless and merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for commenting <3