4 whole years...

So today is actually 4 years to the day that I started writing 'ye olde' blog. I'm much different to me of 4 years ago and even the me of last year. I've just read each of my yearly posts so:- 

First ever blog post 
1 year blog post
2 year blog post
3 year blog post

It was weird reading back on them, my first ever blog post makes me cringe beyond belief and I can't actually get through it, first year I was in hospital recovering from septicaemia which we can all agree was just "super fun," second year I remember being quite good and I was all reflective and I remember remembering all the amazing things that had happened that year because that was the year that both Kath and Bernice had got their transplants so even though I was still waiting I was still so happy that I had managed to be here for those. Third year being last year was amazing I had obviously just had my transplant and everything was just perfect. 

So this year is still amazing but I am entering my fifth year of blogging with a bit of worry in my mind. This whole year has been one of the absolute best of my entire life I got my transplant and I have thrived since it I finally got to know what it's like to be able to breathe and although that is currently an issue I know I will one day get that back (she says hopefully). I met my boyfriend this year and although we aren't all facebooky and I don't blog about him he is one of the best things to have happened to me and has made this year just so amazing and long may that continue. 

I've gotten to see my little humans grow and become little people Skyler now has a little personality and just is the cutest little madam, Spencer has warmed to me so much over this past year. Previously he never seemed to really know how to approach me and he didn't like it when I had my oxygen on and he didn't like my line in my chest so he always sort of kept his distance from me and now he's much better with me and seems to like me much more now. He still doesn't like it when I have lines in me so when I came home with my line in my arm for my IV's he had to make sure that it was coming out I was going to be "better" he had to be reassured that it wasn't going to be staying there forever. Then Jaydon is like an actual proper person now and he spells and reads and he'll be in year 1 in September which just boggles my mind and I can't believe I've actually been here to see it all. Then Megan obviously had Jenson this year and I'll hopefully get to see him develop into a little person too. 

I've been on so many little trips this year which has been really lovely because it's just something I had never been able to do before and being able to do them and experience them has been so, so lovely and I obviously got to go on my first ever holiday! A major milestone for me which was just so amazing and I will never be able to fully express how grateful I am for that experience.       

I'm kind of sad that I'm entering my fifth year with a bit of worry because I really would just love to be as excited as I was last year. I mean I am still really excited about what this year has in store for me but I'm going into it with a bit of worry and uncertainty about how well physically I'm going to be to be able to enjoy it. This year I have so many things planned already, I have the transplant games next week which I will enjoy even in my current state, then I have my Europe trip in August going through to September, I've got my graduation on the 17th of September, then Bernice's Hen Do and her wedding and that's not including all the little things between time so no matter what my health at least I've got lots of plans.

I have my Papworth appointment tomorrow, so I'm going in for a Biopsy and Bronchoscopy tomorrow and we'll see if they find anything. I'm going knowing that my lung function is either going to be around the same or worse than it was 3 weeks ago which is okay because I've just kind of accepted that for the moment things are just bad in that area right now and even with all the work I've been putting in to try and make it better it just isn't really doing anything but the good thing is by still doing the work I'm keeping my strength up and i'm not getting weaker which for me is the main thing at the moment. If I wasn't able to do anything and I was getting weaker I would be extremely worried but at least for the moment that is not case and Papworth will figure it all out I'm sure. Then I'm staying at Papworth till Thursday as I have my PH studies on the Wednesday which is where they stick a probe or tube or whatever up my nose and down into my stomach and it takes readings for 24 hours on my acid reflux and what my stomach is getting up to. If you remember we tried it back in December at Reading hospital because of Papworth's waiting list but it went kind of wrong and it had to be stopped so now we're doing it at Papworth after a very long 7month wait and hopefully this time it will be successful :). I'm really worried about these appointments to be honest with you and I don't think this worry is going anywhere for a while but I'm just going to look forward to after they are over and I get to go chill out in Norwich and then go to Liverpool for the games which I'm quite excited about :) and I'm going to get more sewing done as well. 

So guys think happy lung thoughts for me for tomorrow and just hope that my lung function stays the same or is better :)


As always, thank-you for reading and chat soon

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