16.12.16

It's been a month...


I know it's been a month, a whole month since I blogged. Where have I been and what have I been doing? Well a lot of relaxing and chilling out because that is essentially my main treatment plan but for most of those 4 weeks I had a horrendous cough which was producing so much phlegm and honestly i just have never been so exhausted in all my life from the amount of coughing I have been doing, at some points you kind of question whether you should let yourself drown in your own phlegm because you just don't have the energy to shift it yourself. The past week though has been so much better, I still have a cough but it's how I would consider a normal cough that's just a bit tickly and annoying but the phlegm has gone so I'm not having to exhaust myself trying to shift all the gunk which I can't even describe to you how great it is. I don't by any means feel well but it's just a really lovely thing that means I can get more sleep and I'm in less pain. 

The past two weeks has been quite busy really for me anyway. I've been at the boyfriends and we've just been doing Christmas non stop. We decorated the flat, made a gingerbread house, went to my family Christmas meal, Christmas shopping, my birthday, spa, London, so much stuff it almost sounds like I'm not ill LOL. In between all that though I have the days where I have to "pay" for the busy days for example after London I ended up in bed all day on oxygen. Also I wouldn't even be able to do anything if it weren't for Mark pushing me around in my wheelchair. It's been a really fun two weeks though and Ive thoroughly enjoyed myself and now I've had my last clinic before Christmas I feel like I can relax a bit and enjoy the lead up to Christmas. 

Clinic went well though everything is really stable which is really reassuring but at the same time makes me worry because I'm worried that means something is bound to happen. I also worry that because I say stable people think that means I'm well if you know what I mean? Stability is great and wonderful but when I say stable I mean, I'm still very ill I'm just not getting any more ill for the moment not that I imagine anyone thinks someone with a 25% lung function is well but it really is difficult sometimes because generally no matter how ill I am I generally don't look that ill so people assume I'm alright. Stable is good though we seem to have found a nice place with my drugs and now with the disappearance of the phlegmy cough I have a bit more energy I just hope we can stay here for a little bit especially over Christmas. I'm still heavily reliant on people though especially at the end of the day I find it so exhausting getting changed so sometimes need help with that and washing my hair has become a impossibility for me now luckily my mum and Mark have become my professional hair washers. It's difficult for me having to rely on people like that but I'm so lucky I have people in my life who want to help me.   

I had a Birthday! My 26th to be exact, I don't know how I feel about birthdays anymore I had the loveliest day don't get me wrong but sometimes for me my birthday is just a bit of a reminder that I've managed to go another year not being able to do everything I would like to. I had a wonderful day though, I got thoroughly spoilt, I got some beautiful gifts, Mark took me to a spa and I got to relax in a Jacuzzi and it wasn't a horrid aggressive one that takes me ages to adjust to but was quite calm and just felt so amazing on my ribs! I got my nails done and they had these little pods in their relaxation garden and they had massive beds in and we just got to chill out, it was such a lovely afternoon. Then we had the palaver of getting my hair washed in the changing room but we managed it and made our way to a lovely evening meal with a few friends. 

I still have a few bits and bobs to do for Christmas, I'm actually so behind I need to send some presents which I should have really done like last week but I'm going to focus and get it done! LOL I hope you're all well and will not leave it so long next time :) 

As always, thank-you for reading and chat soon
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